Create the Life you Want – Part 1

Create the Life you Want – Part 1

What I’m about to say may feel a little like I’m kicking you while you are down, but if you aren’t happy, you have a job that is unfulfilling, you can’t find a stable relationship or are suffering with ill health, the truth is, you are creating all of it. You are entirely responsible. That may be a tough pill to swallow, especially if you are suffering from a debilitating illness. Who wants to think that they are creating something so awful for themselves? But you are, and all of it is happening as a direct result of your subconscious belief systems.

In spite of how crummy this news might feel right now, it is actually very empowering. You see, if you are creating everything you don’t want in your life, it means that you also have the power to create what you do want. Most of us simply think that things happen to us, that “if only this person would…., then our relationship would be better,” or “if the economy wasn’t so bad, maybe I could get a better job.” With a little understanding of how our mind works, we can clearly see that we are creating what is happening, and if that is so, then we can change it.

In this three part entry series, we are going to explore just how you can do that. Let’s start by getting an understanding of how you are creating your life currently.

How You Create Your Life (your health, your relationships…)

We all have a conscious and a subconscious mind. While our conscious mind is the part that we are aware of most of the time, it only comprises about one to five percent of our thoughts. It is our logic, reasoning, and our goal setting. Interestingly, our conscious mind acts like a big filter for us. It decides whether what it is observing will be accepted and integrated into our minds. The other 95% of our thoughts occur in the subconscious mind. This part of our mind controls our bodies, breathing, digestion, cell physiology, and it also holds memories from birth to present. Perhaps most importantly, it holds our belief systems, those conclusions we’ve drawn from experiences we’ve had. Unlike the conscious, the subconscious has no filter, in fact, it accepts everything that it’s told, both real and fantasy. This is an important concept to remember.

Our belief systems are formulated by our subconscious through observation and stimulation. Most often these observations are in the form words and actions of the people around us such as our parents, friends, siblings, the media, teachers, etc. The subconscious experiences or observes something, and in an effort to understand and integrate the information, it creates beliefs about what it has observed. In the absence of logic and reasoning (the conscious mind) to explain the real meaning behind what is being observed, the subconscious is free to believe anything it sees fit about what it has observed, even if the conclusions drawn are in error. This is why the filter of the conscious mind is so important.

But what if there is no conscious mind present? This is the case with children. Science has now proven that until the age of eight and sometimes later, children do not have a fully developed conscious mind. What this means is that everything being said, modelled, and done to a child is going straight into their subconscious mind to form conclusions about. Without the benefit of logic and experience, children form belief systems that are not only incorrect, but at times, harmful.

Let’s look at an example to illustrate what I mean. Perhaps a small child goes to the park to play. During the course of the time in the park, a stray dog comes along and bites the child, a traumatic event to say the least! Perhaps the dog was large, and the incident frightening. The child, without the benefit of logic and reasoning could then come up with many beliefs in his subconscious mind from conclusions drawn from this experience. Some of them might include: I must be afraid of dogs, all dogs will bite me, it is dangerous to be outside, I am vulnerable, just to list a few. If a logical mind was present during this incident, it might have been able to reason with the subconscious, perhaps explaining that not all dogs bite, not all dogs should be feared, this was an isolated occurrence, and that being outside is no more dangerous than inside, but a child does not have the benefit of this reasoning, and therefore, the belief system gets set into place. The child now begins to behave, think, create new beliefs and attract other incidents in a way that is congruent with the belief systems he’s created. He may develop a fear of dogs or going outside. If he does venture outside, he may attract new occurrences of dog attacks or situations that reinforce his belief system which then becomes stronger with each new incident. By the time the child is an adult, the belief system may be strong enough to manifest as phobias, ill health, anxiety and stress.

As adults, we live with the beliefs we formulated when we were children. We now have logic and reasoning to understand new things that occur in our lives, but our subconscious beliefs are set into place and we are usually completely unaware of them until they start to cause problems for us, problems such as ill health and toxic relationships. Without an understanding of where these issues truly come from, it’s impossible to change them.

To understand how the subconscious controls our health, let’s look at the mechanics behind weight loss and gain. Many people have had the experience of being unable to lose weight. They may lose it for a while and then gain it back, or, they may exercise and eat healthfully, but their weight doesn’t change, or they may be completely unable to bring themselves to make healthy choices even though they have a burning desire to do so. If you recall, I mentioned that our subconscious mind controls our breathing, digestion, and cell physiology. It also controls metabolism. What I see most often with my weight loss clients is that consciously, they want to lose weight, but when I dig around in their subconscious, I find that they have beliefs such as: “thin people are unhealthy,” “if I am slim, I will receive unwanted attention from the opposite sex,” or “my weight protects me from [whatever they are afraid of].” Since their metabolism is controlled by their subconscious, if they believe that their body must carry the weight for any of the above reasons, it will control the biology and physiology in such a way so as to continue to hold on to the weight. No amount of exercise, eating healthy or willpower will change it! Further, their subconscious will even go so far as to “help” them make the choices congruent to its beliefs, giving rise to cravings and desires for the very foods they know perfectly well they shouldn’t be eating. Removal or reprogramming of these beliefs triggers the subconscious to allow the weight to release naturally and easily from the body. This is precisely why diets, fads, over-exercise, gimmicks, and surgery do not work, or only work temporarily. Unless you address the underlying reason the body is holding on to the weight, it will keep coming back.

Now these are just two examples. The variations are endless between combinations of experiences, beliefs, and how they manifest. The important thing to understand is that, if we are seeing results in our lives that we don’t like, they are a direct result of what we believe in our subconscious, and in all likelihood, those beliefs came from something you heard, saw or experienced when you didn’t have the benefit of a logical mind to explain the real meaning of the experience to you. If you want to change what you are seeing as results in your life, then you must change what you believe in your subconscious mind. Our next entry will explain the tools used to do just that.